Stuck sitting on the toilet!
I’m a Woman! I’m a Woman!
A Woman Got Dammit!
How come my mommy couldn’t be the Modern Day Madre back in the day?
I had to learn about my womanhood in the middle school sex ed. Classroom.
Like 12 and 13 made you grown and cramps would come like hard days at track practice
Or earthquakes rocking boulders down avalanches.
Face of 16 yet 26 rising on the physical
Slow aged like cheese and still spiritual bound like the immortals.
Who are you girl, bleeding from the womb?
Bleeding in the resurrection and procreation tomb and room?
No pains do you whine?
All that blood for seven days, yet you do not cry of dyin’?
What wrong with you girl, Have you no life?
Who created these growing pains and why do we stop growing for life to become crises of midlife menopause of middle age.
Oh Time, Father Time. You Forsake us you bastard.
Coward you are!!
You Limit my Motherly womb of Nature with clocks that tick and tock
And bombs that drop with bloody hell on monthly week for majority of my life.
And every one of those 7 days, I find myself sitting on this toilet with my lady products,
Feeling like that teenage girl again first learning that it’s hit me!
I’m a WOMAN!
We’re all just an oceans wave away from drowning.
There’s enough wetness in the body of woman as there was during our births to give us life, as there is to take our last breath.
Theres no lessons of Noah’s Ark or a Gravitational magnetic pulls that shifts the Earths core in a certain direction. Life is created & taken in the direction that the womb procures existence and breath of a being of a next generation or a next race & life form of love.
This which must be protected in order for generations to carry on.
In this cycle, we women must protect our men, giving them a foundation to want to provide & protect.
A place to FEEL love & safety in order to breathe life into the womb of their motherhood. The woman’s nature to bear fruits of which all seeds will grow.
Watered by the drowning oceans waves of her universe.
I walked around my room
Slowly the weeks passed as I felt your spirit leaving our sanctuary
I flicked the light off, and on, and off, and on again.
The spirit felt so out of touch.
So far from love.
Bed looked so lifeless
And then there was me,
I took two deep breaths,
Flipped the mattress from the bed.
Set this blueprint in my head.
Let the repositioning begin
Remodeling and remolding my room
While removing memories you.
Time to mend.
Time to blend.
Used all my strength.
Pushed heavy pine frame to new walls,
Away from the hardwood that engulfed our lovemaking calls.
Same way you used to do with my body.
I stand back and envision sleeping here
Now we are turned side to the window
No more facing the sun rays head on
My sunrises now reside where you used to sleep.
Man this rearranging is getting deep
Fluffing pillows that I used to let you have
All so I could lay on your chest
All so they could absorb your scent
It was that forever memory for when you were distant
Now there’s no more you flowing thru the fluffing motions
No more love splatter potions
Just laundry detergents of lavender and lace
Thread counts encrusted in diamonds
Priceless clustered & fitted sheets
They don’t hold weight to the scent of you
Pictures move left
My hands ascend up
My heart is rather down
So i let my OCD drown me
Placed the vanity on the right
Pushed my insanity out of sight
Sparked two more incense
Walked out and shut the Door tight
Sat on my steps that led downstairs
Thought endlessly about the memories we still share
I wanted to cry a few endless tears
But I’m alone and no ones here to care.
I said a few prayers
Meditated new life energy into my new room
Hopes that when the door reopened your spirit would not consume
I arose one body
Took two deep breaths
Turned and knocked three times
Twisted the door knob open
Looked around at spirits and auras colorful and kind
And then I saw you
Deep in my mind
That aura, still reclined
Laid back in my bed and still in my mind
I began to cry tears of whys
Because I still missed you so
And even in the changes of energy flow
I just had to lay there and rest
On you newly moved chest pillow.