Mother Earth’s Wavelength

Mother Earth's Wavelength.

Feng Shui

Feng Shui.

I Am Woman!

I am Woman…

When mankind has enough will power to decipher & unlock the codes to the love I possess, then maybe ill be free. Until then, I’ll continuously be misread & misunderstand because people will not know how I love, won’t understand me as an individual & what it takes to love a being such as myself.
Its always seen as I’m in it for myself, but, the greatest loves are best discovered in the dark or quietest of places & may not be expressed as deeply on the outside as it is touched on the inside.
Im a woman that’s not the best at showing my affection in a sensitive loving way because I’m a fighter. Instead of kisses I may slap the shit out of you, but I’m not doing that to be mean. Lol that means to me: I love you. Subtle aggression.
If I claim my stance in love, I’m there. As honest & faithfully open as I can be towards someone. It May always be seen as my interest is in someone or something else, but as truthful & honest as a person that i am… if my interests are elsewhere, my mouth would open up & say so, or I would just move on.
If a woman stays through so much emotional psychological bullshit from someone, it’s not because she’s stupid, though for some that is the case, but for the most part, the love in her heart & soul tells her that she’s strong enough to keep loving someone even when all they do is doubt her.

She knows her love will prevail.

She knows her love will prove them & their own doubts wrong.

Because she knows what unfair is & when someones own personal mind-filled doubts are pushed towards her as something being wrong with her instead of him.
She still believes, even more to get nauseous within her depths because these doubts keep rolling back in & she knows what the next few uneasy moments can bring from your words.

She just prays.

She knows that one day the light will shine on them like Gods last call into heaven for the Earths as the Sun explodes inside your brain like the ON switch to a lightbulb & you will realize my love for you.
I let my love ego talk confidently, even if I have to ignore the constant doubtful concerns as being less than nothing.
I’ll keep loving as though there’s just two of us in a room with nothing but our hearts to beat cohesively together as one rhythm & no brains emotion to tell us that love has shakeable trust & faith. Theres just LOVE…….

But, Maybe thats just me.

Misunderstood.

My own W.O.M.A.N. No acronym. Just WOMAN.

-TJW

What is Mother’s Day?!?

Since I was 13, I wasnt really too fond of Mother’s Day. My mother passed away August 21, 2002 when i was 12 and since then, I didnt really care to celebrate for any reason.

I understand how people always say that we should still celebrate for all the other mothers in the world, but this “holiday” closely means nothing to me anymore.

I’ve become closeminded to this day, as I’ve done in the same sense that Father’s day means a bunch of donkey ass to me. I havent seen or heard from my father since I was 7 yrs old. I dont even know that bastards real name, and its sad that my family doesnt either. I only share his last name. So orphan I am. Shame right? lol, maybe, maybe not.

Today it makes me a little bit more tense as well, that my sister starts a lil mommys group “Momtourage” with all her “mother” friends and I try to close my ears to it, but I get asked to help on certain things. Which I dont want to help with because I cant be included because I dont have kids, and dont want kids anytime soon. Not jealous, but would like to not hear about it. I dont know. I guess there are a million things that I dont connect with from my sisters. Of course Im the Martian of the family so I stray away from the Kids and having a family thing. Yes Im the youngest but I have just as much stuff going on as the next person…. so should I be counted out?
I dont know… back to subject. Mothers Day can be a little painful at times just thinking and watching others embraces their mothers and kids, so I feel that I shouldnt join in those festivities of life because I am without both. Yea I have(had) a grandmother, whom I dont speak to for many unGodly reasons, and yes my sisters have kids, but I constantly am out of the loop because I dont feel those joys that my Mother could bring me. I’ve forgotten the little bit that I once felt and hate that I was so young not to have the same memories that my sisters shared with my mother.

Im not bitter, and these arent cries for help or attention, just know that, when I dont show happiness or enthusiasm around these times, its because I seriously feel that I have no reason to. I know there are plenty of people in the world that can relate to this because we all have those losses and misfortunes that change our lives forever, but we cant carry them as burdens on ourselves. Its just the feeling that we have and cant relay by showering others with gifts, flowers and cards, when we cant shower the one woman who gave us the greatest gift we have, LIFE!

I guess these are the many reasons that I have grown to be so independent, because I feel that I’ve never really have a bond, or the motherly teacher to show me how life is and teach me what I should do as I was growing on. I had to learn everything practically on my own. Good and bad, those lessons in life have built me to be the strong, independent, outspoken, forthright, strong willed, artistic woman I am today. Through everything, I am still learning, without the advice children get to call and ask their mothers about, so I call to myself forthe answers I need in life. No one can make you be who you are, but there should always be someone there guiding and helping you along the way. Where is my guiding light?!?

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